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Wednesday, February 22, 2006 

A Suitable Boy, only better looking

Me :

No Heavens have been devised
For those who carry their scourges inside
And not in some remote fastness on a chart
Hell is a landscape of the heart”

She : Lovely.

Me : Awwww, you spoil me so.

She : Not at all. Just what you deserve.

Me : A bit more spice sometimes maybe ? I don’t know, people seem to like it that way

She : mmm. No way. If you start adding spice, then the whole flavour sometimes changes.

Me : Everybody thinks all this is easy. Especially since one has been doing it for years. It’s not that way: you have to start fresh each time.

She : Not everybody understands. I never knew one with a taste like yours. Highly discerning and alive to every nuance. I wonder you ever get to study and work after all that.

Me : Not at all. If anything, I probably work better after something like this.

She : Sometimes I cannot really decide which of these is the absolute favourite.

Me : Ohhh, I love all of them equally. Ok, some of them a bit more. But I am not telling you.

She : Awww, you spoil me so.

Me : Not at all. Just what you deserve.

My favourite audience for my writing is my Grandma. She is convinced it takes enormous mental effort to sit and peck away at a keyboard. I recite my poetry to her, and as shown above, she is always most passionately appreciative. (The language doesn’t really matter). She is convinced that sooner or later the world will find out what she has always known and the genius-in-waiting will receive the fanfare and applause, not to mention fat publisher’s advances, that is his due.

In the meantime, in order to fortify me for the rigours of fame, she is always cooking up a storm. Of course, her cooking is truly absolutely a dream. She satisfies my perennial need for acceptance and I always gush about her cooking, with only a reluctance to name a single favourite dish standing between us. So between us, we have a major mutual admiration society. Sometimes I think we both are talking about different themes, but in the end, it’s the happiness that counts.

Which is why, when she once found me reading an article featuring Vikram Seth at the launch of his book in Bangalore with veneration, she just sniffed “I think you look better than him”.

Awww. We love your grandma. SUCH a sweet liar.

(Who else?)

Boy, you seem to busy churning out them posts! And you ain't having those witty conversations with, err, you anymore!

Ph : Touche, read as Ouch.

Me : It's like old

Shake and shake, the ketchup bottle
nothing will come, then a lot'll

As for that old gang of mine, they be biding their time ..

You scratch my back and I'll scratch yours huh?

Sometimes aren't we all your grandma..?

Sometimes. Mostly we are very sincere in our compliments :)

Nope, Ms G : my Grandma, mistakenly or otherwise, actually believes what she says ... and I actually love her cooking!

But yes, insincere compliments abound.

As for us, we take it as it comes with pleasure :

"jhoota hi sahi!"

u look better than Vikram Seth? Not that the benchmark was great to begin with, but I guess the sgent will have to live with that. Granny dear, he's got a fabulous agent too...and she looks better than Vicky too.

cute post. my granny called me a barbie doll once.. so there!

hmmm....?!, you need a girlfriend methinks :D

Ms G : Careful, someone would think you were volunteering. While questions of morality might be dealt with, accusations of poor taste would be much harder for you to handle!

And I said I had a perennial need for someone *who'd appreciate me* ...not expect it!

And Alpha :

We most emphatically do not wish to look better than the Seth. The looker Booker combo is only for women. Look at it this way : Vik Seth has played it both ways and is yet single. Salman Rushdie, peace be upon his barber, has Padma Lakshmi and lots of money.

Your Grandma called you a Barbie Doll ? Hmmmm. To repeat an unfinished q I asked on your blog, you used to look so cute ... ?

Good, have been creepy, sexist and arrogant. Somebody issue a fatwa fast please, I need to fastrack this whole thing.

we wud issue the fatwa, but wudn't want to incur grandma's wrath, wud we?

gosh gabby, if you didn't go weak kneed with that display of romance, I think pregnancy has turned you reckless.

alpha , awwwwwww, you are supposed to be on MY side...

and you giving fatwas and scaring off poor gabby, whom we are in absolutely awe of ...

and Ms G, unrelatedly, take care and take more care.

sorry ?!, Ms. G, as awesome as she is, doesn't get scared of easily. So hang in there.

Ms. G, unrelatedly, here are my hugs.

will go and see if someone wants to engage me.

before I leave, word verification-down down!

Already off@ Wierd Veri. I mean, if it didn't stop ME, very little point.

And you've already given up ?

Am pressing delete on those sonnets unless you recant ASAP ...

I wud take it all back dear, if I knew what I need to recant.

thanks for the WV's sudden demise.

No author who refused agent's advice ever got an advance.

Besides, when you keep saying "agent", we are reminded of those With A View To Kill.


We demand that the post you said you were thinking of posting be posted NOW!

-Faithful groupie forever.

This is very interesting site... » »

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