Dubious Moves

I conform.

As I conform, I revel in the knowledge that I don’t have to, and haven’t in the past, but I now successfully conform. Because I have to rebel, and if you have to rebel, conformity is rebellion.

The sort of epiphany that springs fully formed, as one stands in early morning haze on the edge of cliff. And with the confidence of standing firm, just let one foot explore nothingness , and write with your toes indistinct letters to unknown people in the haze that drifts lazily from below.

Possibly. I wouldn’t know, just guessing.

For me, it came as I dangled feet in usual fashion, sitting on the balcony railing facing outward. And a sudden wind blew the newspaper open on the lap onto the face. So I jabbed a hole in it with a finger and continued smoking. Jet-Sahara marriage not made for the heavens heading for divorce even before saying I do, and Airtel of mmmuhhhhmmmm ta nen nyaanoo tune now heard on no mobile but every car reversing launching Easy Music downloads. Words about matters of such import envelop the face, but the newsprint is too near to distinguish good news from bad.

But not even the best of the Hindu’s efforts can make it anything near an acceptable filter for the morning cuppa, so we regretfully put the cup down, and pull the paper off, leaving soggy bits of paper (that are actually quite palatable) sticking to lips.

Thereby causing early morning marital discord in the family with balcony opposite where the wife had called out the remaining janata to look at earlier scene. The scorn of the still tousled boy was withering; the resignation on the husband’s face spoke of one who has been made to tag along for choosing matching blouse pieces. And the wife, cheated out of the joy of shared absurdity, making mental notes to embellish it (“drinking at 6 AM, what do you know”) when she told kaam waali bai, thus establishing social cachet over teesre ghar waali Sumitra, who had after all only inferred from observant watching that college ladki on another balcony only studied in fresh air for the duration of married uncle on opposite balcony doing morning exercises in gym vest with Chicago Bulls written on it.

Conformity, morning newspaper and cuppa, a breeze. Really.